Actually one of the worst moments is when you have to decide between your own good and the good for the others. The fact that you care about your friends more than you care about yourself makes that decision even more difficult and painful. Even when you think that you have to do things in order to make other people feel good, even though you don’t enjoy yourself. It feels awful and makes you consider yourself confused. Isn’t that you are happy when other people are happy? Well, it’s not the case of other people. I, for example, care more about my friend’s happiness than my own. I guess that my own happiness does not make the others happy, that is why I push my own happiness against my mind and I prioritize other people’s desire or pursuit of happiness. Why? Because I’m afraid of being happy. I do not take risks because i’m afraid of disappointment. And as a consequence, i feel awful for not being capable of making my decisions according to my goals.
- Gaga’s being such a lesbian lately
all I ever wanted tbh
